Small successes

I used to measure success by work performance - a raise, a "good job" from the boss, maybe a promotion. These days, successes are much smaller, and I don't get any more money from them. These successes are now along the lines of getting Lauren to nap, making my way through an entire grocery trip without a tantrum, or a bath and a "night, night" with no tears.

Today, though, marks one of the biggest success I've had since becoming a mother - the airplane trip. We took our daughter to visit her grandparents (my in-laws) on the other side of the country in California.

Preparing for this trip started weeks ago, for me at least. I don't know about you, but why is it that the husband, dad, partner, whatever, gets to lay around until 10:00 the night before the trip without lifting a finger, but you (the wife, mother) run around like a crazy person for 2 weeks prior, making lists, packing, re-packing, talking to herself, etc. It seems insane.

Anyways, back to the flight. 4 hours there, 4 hours back. I was scared. That's putting it mildly. I was terrified. We've entered the wonderful world of tantrums. Full on, arm-swinging, feet-kicking, embarrassed-to-be-out-in-public tantrums. I was sure one would find itself on Continental flight 750.

Nope!! She was great. Happy as a clam, flirting with all the passengers, and being an absolute angel, save 1 or 2 small screams that came and went quickly (i.e., no one even looked over at us in anger).

So, here are my top 10 "must haves" when travelling with a toddler:

1. Try, try, TRY to get a row with an empty middle seat. This is imperative if you've not bought your under 2-year-old a seat (which we haden't). We got lucky both ways (on the way back, I basically removed the guy next to me single-handedly, but that's a whole 'nother story). This seat will come in VERY handy when your child needs to lay down, undress her doll, eat lunch, etc.

2. Have one parent (me, of course) board first and stash all your carry-ons. Let the other parent (usually the dad) let your child run around like a crazy person until they are pretty much closing the plane door. Then have him board. This way, your child doesn't sit around on a plane for 40 extra minutes while people bitch over where their carry-on is going to go.

3. Do not sit in the last row. Sounds like it'd be a good idea, right? You'd have no one behind you, you could sneak into the flight attendants' little area for a walk-around, right? WRONG. Your child will spend the entire flight distracted by the people who will inevitably line up to use the restroom. Think nap? Think again.

4. Bring some toys, but not too many. Toddlers will find anything to play with. SkyMall magazine was a huge hit. Barf bag came in a close second.

5. Leave your food expectations in the parking lot. We are all about organic milk and healthy meals. Not on these flights. Honey Nut Cheerios ruled the day, as did 2% insecticide-infested milk that came free with our breakfasts. Oh well. One day won't kill 'em.

6. Three words: portable DVD player. We are also not big fans of TV watching. But guess what? I can sing every freaking Wiggles song now, and I couldn't care less. The child was amazed.

7. Check your car seat at the ticket counter. It's free! And, it doesn't count towards your bag total (which is 1 now), and you won't have to lug it around the airport for gate checking. Oh, and remember, if you didn't buy your child a seat, they don't get a bag allowence.

8. Bring something for you to do. I thought I'd have no time to do anything because I would be keeping her occupied. Guess again - I'm halfway through One Fifth Avenue just from the flight home.

9. Pack an extra outfit for your child. Just because they're past the "I can poop through anything" phase they had as an infant does not mean they are immune to the dreaded wardrobe malfunction. I found an entire outfit, if folded properly, fit perfectly into a Ziploc sandwich bag and in my purse. Perfect.

10. Break down and buy one of those little packages that holds about 3 diapers, a thin bag of wipes, and comes with it's own changing pad. Leave your diaper bag at home. Have you ever changed a diaper in an airplane bathroom? Case closed.

All in all, this small success was huge for us. It made us not fear flying, although I don't think we'll be going anywhere again soon. After 2, you pay for a full fare seat, and I don't know about you, but that ain't happenin' in this house.

Yes, I am insane.

Ahhh…the days when I was wise. Smart. Sassy. Knew everything. Confident in my abilities. Never criticized my husband. Never left the house unscathed.

What happened? Her name is Lauren.

Born 11 days early via c-section, she began this journey that is life a little stubborn. Lauren was a frank breached baby (see pic of example). Could we turn her in-utero? Nope. She was too big already…at 37 weeks.

Huh. Now what? C-section. The dreaded surgery that some moms swear by and others recoil at the thought. That was my fate. Scheduled it, researched it, and once again…I knew everything.

Control was my mantra. I was notorious for it.

21 months later, control is a thing of the past. And this is the place where I can document the constant spinning that is my life. Through laughter and tears, I will tell it like it is, and I hope you share. Because as I’m sure we’re all aware, only knowing that someone is as screwed up as you are makes everything ok.